“This Is What It Means To Be A Mother”

August 27, 2025

“This is what it means to be a mother.” This was the thought that kept circling my brain as I looked down at my feverish daughter, asleep on my chest this morning. Last night was a first for us. My daughter slept 12 straight hours without waking or crying. It was a lovely rest for us all. This morning as I got her up, I noticed she felt warm and feverish. I thought, “I guess today is going to be a difficult one.” Isn’t it sad that this is often where our minds go first as moms. We can feel burdened by our children and weighed down by the responsibilities they put on us. Where is my freedom and my peace and quiet? We ask ourselves these selfish questions and throw pity parties for ourselves sometimes without even realizing it. Maybe it’s not that our children are in the way of our joy and fulfillment, but that we are. 

Because my daughter was running a mild fever, she was quite fussy after waking up this morning. I fed her, changed her, let her play and explore for a bit, fed her some breakfast, and then listened to her scream my ears off on the floor for 15 mins. I finally got her to calm down (or she wore herself out), and I picked her up along with a blanket and went outside. Our front porch is one of my favorite parts of our home. And today it was especially enjoyable with a temperature of 65॰F, a gentle breeze, and the birds singing and squirrels rustling the leaves. It’s almost autumn, and I’m soaking up the nice weather. My daughter seems to always instantly calm down when we go outside and swing on our white wicker porch swing. I had her wrapped up in a big blanket, and she laid her head upon my chest, fully relaxed. I was pleasantly surprised when she began to doze off to sleep. She has never been much of a cuddler, so I was cherishing this moment a great deal. I couldn’t stop gazing down at her little face: eyes gently fluttering, bottom lip drooping, thumb slowly falling out of her mouth as she drifted off to sleep. I kept swinging and watching the cars drive by. And then the thought dawned on me: “this is what it means to be a mother.” I became teary eyed as we sat there together, my daughter safe and comforted in her momma’s arms. 

We swung there for an hour, and during that time I felt truly present, fully experiencing and enjoying the moment. I felt no rush to get up and get moving with my day. I felt like God was saying to me, “I have you right where I want you to be. This is your purpose at this moment.” I talked to God during that time, thanking Him for the blessing of children to challenge, grow, teach, and slow us down. God has given me a great gift in my daughter, a true blessing and reward. During that hour on the swing, I felt as if God was using that time to reveal many things to me. First and foremost, I have at times been wishing the minutes and hours away unintentionally. I often think “okay I just have one more hour until her nap time” or “I really hope she takes a long nap so that I can have some me time”. I unknowingly get through my day in phases, just working my way through the “schedule”. I felt the urgency to fix my mindset and outlook as a mother towards each day I am blessed with to spend with my daughter. Sitting on that swing, I felt purpose. Even though I wasn't moving the laundry to the dryer, washing the pile of dishes in the sink, or having “me” time, I truly felt like I’d never used my time more wisely. I think if this moment taught me anything, it’s to slow down, take a breath, and revel in what is truly important. Children grow up fast, and the days are fleeting. My daughter is already 10 months old when it feels like she was born yesterday. God wants us to enjoy the blessings He has given us and to savor the moments we have with them no matter how big or small. 

I am glad that God used a sweet moment like this to wake me up and teach me a lesson. Isn’t God so good to us, to open our eyes to what we’ve been missing: “This is what it means to be a mother.” Being a mom is being a safe place for our children, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a chest to sleep on. It’s being present for our children, observing them grow and learn, teaching and training them, providing them a memorable and sweet childhood, and being the one they always run to and rely on. So fight to be present. Slow down and bask in the big and small moments with your children. Don’t rush moment to moment, unknowingly letting time pass you by. It’s these moments that we’ll miss one day, and wish that we could relive. Ask yourself, “what truly matters and where does God want me at this exact moment”? Put your focus and attention there, and find the joy and fulfillment that awaits. Maybe God is calling you to be a safe and cozy place for your feverish baby to sleep, while you are challenged to slow down and realize what’s really important. Maybe all the while swinging on a porch swing.

I’m glad you’re here, friend!