Forming New Habits Successfully

January 13, 2025

Why is it so easy to think of a dozen new habits and goals for our lives, but when it comes to beginning and maintaining, we fall apart? How do you create habits and find lasting transformation?

I think especially in this modern world, there is so much that influences us, and we find ourselves feeling compelled, inspired, or even pressured into making changes in our own lives. Some of these changes can be really good things, but if there’s no real motivation or intention behind them, then they will stay exactly as they started: goals. 

There are countless good habits I can think of that I would like to add to my life. This new year, I created for myself a list of daily habits I want to complete. I know it sounds cliche, but these goals aren’t anything too lofty, just a written down reminder to maintain focus on what really matters and to live with intentionality and progress. I read somewhere once how motivation isn’t a feeling that arises prior to starting something, although we often think we need it to begin. Motivation is really a feeling that comes after you have already taken a small step. It makes sense as this is how I have always experienced motivation in my own life, especially as a stay at home mom who has no one physically telling me to get busy despite if I want to or not. I don’t always feel like deep cleaning my bathroom, but once I start, the motivation comes and I am soon passionately cleaning my bathroom and feeling motivated by the results and the finish line in sight. You can’t wait for motivation itself to get you up off your couch and make you begin cleaning out your fridge or tackling a project. I find that what really gives me the initial push to begin something and stick to it, is the knowledge and understanding of its perceived benefit on my life and wellbeing. I KNOW that reading my Bible will have a lasting positive influence on my walk with the Lord. I KNOW it is good for me to be in God’s Word daily. This knowledge of the benefit of reading my Bible was the push I needed to begin doing just that. Over a year ago, I made it a goal to read my Bible at the start of every day. If I didn’t think or know that reading the Word daily would be of benefit to me and bring glory to God, then there would have been no reason for me to stick to it. But I wanted to grow closer to the Lord and learn from the Scriptures. This understanding of why I was starting was the push I needed to begin and then find the motivation to keep going as I saw my heart change and my mind being renewed each morning. I decided to create a new habit in my life, had a real goal behind it, and was propelled to continue once I experienced results and the motivation that follows.

I think what causes many of us to fall short in our goals or resolutions, is the fact that we are trying to begin things that we don’t truly deem as beneficial or necessary in our lives. We say we’re going to start working out, or learn how to sew, or cook everything from scratch, but we don’t even have a reason why or care about the results. We just want to create a new habit for the sake of feeling good about ourselves or because “so and so” on the internet does it and she found results. Setting these “goals” sounds like self awareness and development, but it often ends in a return to our old habits and ways of living, with no real growth in our lives. We need to seek God’s guidance and look well to the ways of our own mental, physical, and spiritual health, and that of our family’s as well. It is a great thing to set new goals. In fact, God wants us to grow, develop skills, use our time wisely, and be a well-rounded woman of God who is being sanctified day by day. But friend, we have to stay in our own lane and realize that what may work for someone else, won’t always work for us, or maybe it will work in a different season. Take an honest look at your life. What areas do you need to grow in, be it mental, physical, or spiritual? What new skill or use  of your time would be of great benefit and delight to you, as well as your husband and children? What is something you have been putting off but know you need to do? Evaluate your personal life, and decide what new habits, skills, or routines would be of great advantage, and then state your objectives behind those things and simply begin. Sticking with it is where most of us fail, but with an honest “why” behind your “what”, I believe you’ll find the motivation to not only start, but find successful, lasting results as your goals become reality. Don’t make the mistake of beginning too much at once. That’s where New Year’s resolutions get their comical reputation. Everyone knows that you can’t live a certain way for your whole life and then decide to make 30 instant changes right when you wake up on January 1st. The new year may feel like the motivation you need to finally make a change, but friends it’s not the new calendar year that makes a difference. It is your reason, intention, and purpose behind why you are deciding to implement something into your life or take something away. Have grace on yourself, start with one thing at a time, and add another habit after you have experienced success with the first one. After you’ve identified an area you need growth in, hold yourself accountable to maintaining progress, which is easier if your goal is backed by honest merit, reward, benefit, value, and blessing to your life and those around you.

I pray that this blesses and encourages you as you go about setting new goals for yourself. I pray that you can successfully and humbly identify the areas in your life that need attention and improvement, and then determine your plan and the desire behind it, and not only begin, but find enduring change. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6