Modesty: How My Style And Heart Have Changed Over The Years

November 6, 2025

It comes as a shock to no one that our world sexualizes everything, especially within the realm of fashion. Just 5 minutes spent on any social media platform will reveal this. We live in a time and culture where it is not only deemed acceptable, but praiseworthy to dress in revealing and provocative ways. We live in a culture of undressing and therefore defiling your own body. Many people, especially women, see this immodest dressing as empowering and they applaud anyone who dresses in line with the latest trends and fads. The clothing garments being sold in stores add to the pressure and temptation to purchase cropped tops, short shorts, and practically see-through items. We see it all over social media, commercials, movies, schools, and our streets in town. Even young girls are beginning to dress more and more indecently. As women of God, how should we be dressing ourselves? How should we view the latest fashion trends? Does God care how we clothe ourselves?

I don’t mind getting a little personal on here and sharing about my experiences and struggles. Friend, I began to be tempted to dress immodestly beginning in high school. Not a day went by where I didn’t remember to put on my contacts and mascara. I wanted clothes and accessories that were popular and in style. I sought the approval of my peers and the attention of boys. I wanted to dress myself in a way that made my body look the most flattering according to the world's standards. I had cropped tops and shortie shorts. I had clothes that hugged too tight and shirts that didn’t cover my leggings. Someone looking from the outside might not think anything out of the ordinary about my fashion choices. They might not have thought they were even that scandalous. However, it wasn’t only my outfit choices that I look back on with distaste, but also the state of my heart… mainly the state of my heart. I was consumed with how I looked in the mirror. How I dressed myself was inspired by the world and driven by vanity. I always focused on how my body looked in my clothes and what others would think. Would boys find me attractive? Would I make girls jealous? Would I fit in and be liked? All of the criteria I used  to decide what to wear was dishonoring to myself and ultimately to God, and it only led to self absorption, self criticism, and an obsession over my looks.

I’m so glad that Jesus saved my life and changed my heart beginning in college! Since then, my modesty journey has been slow and steady, but sanctifying and life bringing. I have experienced freedom from obsessing over the way my body appears to others, and I have parted with so many clothes that I once idolized. I now clothe myself with timely pieces that I believe are suitable for a woman of God to wear, whilst honoring my husband and setting a good example for my children. God has changed my heart, and I no longer desire to look like the world and be conformed to it. I believe that true beauty lies within, and our bodies are to be protected and cherished. I love this verse from 1 Peter 3:3-4 that says,

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

This is the true definition of a beautiful woman. It is a woman who fears the Lords and is concerned about her character and the state of her heart rather than the way she looks. A truly beautiful woman is gentle, quiet, caring, peace-filled, confident, and focused on others rather than herself. How she dresses shows that she honors her body, her husband, and the Lord’s Word. This can vary from woman to woman in the exact style of attire, but our clothing choices should reflect our submission to God and an obedience to his Word.

Pray for God’s guidance, conviction, and the revealing of your heart concerning this topic. I guarantee if you are out of line with how God would have you dress, it won’t be long before you begin to experience a heart change or a deep feeling that you need to make a change. Try not to overcomplicate things or question what is okay or what rides the line of modesty. Be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself the hard questions? Do I wear this clothing item to get attention or make others jealous? Do I wear this article of clothing to accentuate certain parts of my body? Is this how I would want my daughter to dress? Am I dressing as the kind of woman I want my son to look for in a wife? Would I wear this outfit at my church, in front of my grandma, or around my pastor? Do I believe this piece of clothing honors God when I wear it out? Maybe some of these questions seem like a stretch or even seem legalistic to you. But I believe that if we are following God earnestly, seeking to grow as a woman of God, and desiring to be sanctified and made more like Jesus, these questions will be helpful to decipher where we’re at concerning modesty and cause us to try and get to the bottom of our heart and our wardrobe. 

Now I said I’ve been on a slow journey with modesty. I have continued binging and donating things over the years that I know aren’t glorifying to God and are only glorifying my sinful flesh. Especially since becoming a wife and mother, I have not only purged more things, but also experienced a heart change that has led me to dress myself with different intentions. I still keep myself in check by asking myself what the goal of my outfit is or who I’m dressing for. Is it the world or God? Praise God, He has brought me so far in this area and it is truly freeing! I can confidently say that I have experienced sanctification in this area, and am at a place that I never thought I’d get to. And I want that for you too, friend! 

So, as for my current wardrobe, I think I’m at a place where I finally feel like I’m building a collection of clothing that is timeless, womanly, chaste, and of high quality. I hope to wear the pieces I have purchased for decades to come. Since dressing modestly, I have never felt more feminine and truly beautiful. In my opinion, modesty is not limited to one certain style, and neither is my personal closet. I wear anything from dresses to athleisure wear. It just depends on the day I guess. Over the past year especially though, I have made it a point to try and wear more long dresses, and honestly they’re really practical, comfy, feminine, and they make me feel so much more productive and put together as compared to sweats. I have come to love wearing dresses even when I’m just staying home with my daughter, oh and it doesn’t hurt that my husband loves them too. That’s another worthwhile thing to ask yourself: what style does my husband like me to wear? Or better yet, go straight to the source and ask him yourself. Of course this doesn’t trump God’s ultimate judgment, but it is something to take into consideration since we should desire to bring honor and delight to our husbands too. Personally, my husband enjoys when I wear dresses or skirts, and I love seeing his face light up when he gets home from work and I’m dressed in his favorite style. But it’s not everyday that I wear dresses, although I could see myself doing that in the future. I still wear jeans and a sweater, shorts and a tshirt, or leggings and a sweatshirt. But no matter the style of outfit I put on, I still make sure it aligns with my convictions surrounding modesty. 

It’s really not hard to find clothing that is modest, you just have to know what you’re looking for. My personal favorite place to look is at the local thrift store. I thrift everything, and my wardrobe isn’t an exception. I love the slow hunt for the perfect piece to add to my collection. Often I don’t even know what I’m specifically looking for, just in a vague area such as jeans, sweaters, dresses, etc. I have found countless high quality and lovely items, and at a fraction of the price if I were to buy it new. It is a quicker and cheaper way to build up a new wardrobe that’s for sure. I also diligently look for pieces that are comfortable, durable, and well-made such as 100% cotton or linen. I have found so many darling dresses that I have passed on because they turn out to be polyester or rayon, and I just personally won’t bend for quality. It can take time and diligence, but building a modest wardrobe piece by piece is not only possible, but worthwhile and refreshing to the soul. 

I hope this post has blessed you, inspired you, or maybe even convicted you to take a deeper look at your own wardrobe and intentions. God is not silent in any area of our life, modesty included. I just believe that us women are sometimes quick to buy into the lies of the world, gratify our sinful flesh, and conform ourselves to the latest trends out of fear or desire to fit in. But friend, it is truly empowering, praiseworthy, and beautiful to dress according to God’s standards. I urge you to explore your heart and wardrobe and seek God’s counsel above all else. We can always go to Him in prayer or search His Word for answers to our questions and struggles. He wants you to experience the freedom and contentment He alone offers. I’ll leave you with this verse from the book of practical wisdom:

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30